So the past 2 days I’ve been forced to ‘critically think’ and forget about wearing the hat of an engineer.
I began evaluating the perspective of work now that I’m coming to nearly 9 months in my current job.
Working has turned me into many things.
It has made me a lot more cynical about the corporate world. Most of the times, I get reinforced that it’s just made up of a lot of fake people making use of each other to climb the corporate ladder. It makes the think the more I stay in the job, the more I’ll start to accept the way of life and turn into literally “one of those people out there.” Something, I never believed in turning into when I was younger and more hopeful.
Working has turned me into extrovert and introvert all at once. During my working hours, I’m forced to interact with so many people. From dealing with difficult contractors to constantly updating superiors progress for the day to sharing a laugh or two with a colleague who is stressing over a pressing issue. Technology makes me feel so connected even when I’m out of office. Then I begin to wonder if Whatsapp didn’t exist, my working life would have been so different. I don’t have to be constantly by my phone waiting to respond to a text or a call. I don’t have to periodically open my office chat groups, which are at least 5, to check for updates. This bugged me during my initial first few months. I felt robbed of every personal space I had. Even on weekends, my mind isn’t free from work or my “to-do list” that is waiting to grin back widely at me, when I get back to my desk on Monday.
One fine day, I slowly stumbled on my coping mechanism quite unknowingly. I was shuttling between places for meetings and was forced to have my lunch alone and that’s when I realised, VOILA, I love being alone during lunch time. It’s like my cheat code to survive the next 5 hours or so, before calling it a day. I can sit alone in even a fancy restaurant and just people watch. Everybody is dressed so prim and proper, minding their Ps and Qs and chatting away mostly about work or after work ‘plans’. And I’m there, just silent, enjoying my food, not having to worry about awkward silences on the table. Then I begin to wonder, what those people sitting opposite me, think of me. Are they envying me or they happy they are not me? The me who has no lunch partner. Would they kill to have lunch alone? Or, are they truly friends instead of just colleagues?
With that, let me log off from all this technology and have a bit of me time before I head to work (night shift) in less than 12 hours.
What has working turned you into?