Dear future employer.


So, while I’m busy spamming your inboxes with my CV and 2 by 2” passport photo just thought there are a couple of things you should know about me. Before you call me up for an awkward small talk and then offer me an interview slot rather hesitantly that is.

– I value my self worth quite a lot. So, while you might have an awesome company if I don’t like the way you make me feel, I’ll quit.

– I’m planning to take a 6 month vacation twice a year after I join. Kidding. But, on a serious note, I am planning a 6 month vacation just once within my first 2 years of working with you. Hope you remember this when offering me a handsome pay.

– I hope my fellow colleagues aren’t pain in the asses ’cause my tolerance is really quite low. Quite the contrary of what I’m going to be bragging during my 15 min of fame aka interview.

– I am fussy about my morning commutes so I hope I have a direct bus and/or an empty train for me to get to work to. Otherwise, I expect coffee on my table to calm my nerves. Also, speaking of which, I’m never on time so helping me with a coffee run will give me just a bit more time to be productive.

– I expect to be able to take 3 hour lunch breaks without getting calls from you. Period.

I think this shall be all for tonight. I’ll keep updating this list as we go along just so you and I are on the same page.

Cheers mate!

————

This post was written purely for humour as the author just spent the past couple of hours slouched behind the screen to find that ONE awesome job she had to apply to before the sun rises tomorrow morning. I’m naturally quite well-mannered, judging from most of my other posts, so don’t get too worried. Go ahead, pick up that damn phone and give me a call tomorrow  on Monday will you.

With only good intentions,

Your future employee.

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