Nostalgia.


This year has been filled with tremendous nostalgia with the memories of the past 2 years especially.

2015 begun with me taking the biggest trip of my life. One way ticket in tow and a few grand. Didn’t know when I was going to return but I just knew my visa was valid for 6-months. That meant, 16 July 2015 was the last day I could be in New Zealand’s soil. I knew I wanted to travel, to learn, to explore, to converse, to challenge myself, to grow, to become a stronger person. I didn’t know how. But, the only language I knew, then and now, was travel. Soon after I took off, travel mixed with love. The stakes were higher to succeed both individually as well as together. We had to make it work after all the risks we both took to set foot on this. We laughed, we fought, we cried. We travelled to the far ends of the road. Travelled till we became broke. Found ourselves jobs. Worked like dogs in a pack house doing shitty night-shift hours. Ended our night, or rather day, since it was nearly 4am, watching suits, drinking gin, falling deeper in love with each other and our (present) lives and then falling asleep on each other. Couple of weeks into the routine, crossroads hit us. It was either (for me, at least) to continue working another month or so, head to South Island and continue for another 90 days or fly back home. We fought being on opposite sides of the table. I fought for my homesickness, family, comfort, my best friend’s birthday I couldn’t miss even if I thought I could. You fought for us, to have me by your side and to make me stronger with your love. You let me win and agreed to flying home after a week in Sydney. S, those 90 days with you will always remain the closest in my heart, come what may. Even now, I think back on possibly what would remain to be greatest adventure of our lives and count my blessings twice, because I have you. Thank you, S, for that one decision you made, that made my “Yes, of course!” so easy.

The rest of 2015, saw days alternating between euphoria and nothingness. Hiding the details of my travel as S had to still remain as the shadow in my life. It felt impossible when all I wanted to do was yell and proclaim my love for him. Dabbled a bit in events and soon after, during a family holiday, S’s presence in my life got revealed. It felt as though someone had barged into my room and opened my closet without asking me. I wanted to be able to reveal my relationship on my own terms. But, I suppose, the cards never always get dealt in your favour, does it?

Within a matter of days, 2016 came knocking on our doors. Year begun rather rocky on many fronts. Switched back to engineering for an easier pocket. Took each day as it came. There were happy days, the ones that involved ignoring the huge white elephant in the room. There were silent, painful ones. The highlight of the first half of the year was managing to squeeze 2 travels with S, despite and in spite of everything. It took till June for things to settle on the home front. It felt like we had just begun to breathe when your last day at work got fixed. Blessing in disguise or not, we took it in our stride and planned for Melbourne in July. Attended the not-so-little sister’s 25th birthday bash and came back engaged! That bloody cold afternoon in Brighton Beach still feels so surreal and every moment is so vivid in my memory as if 25 July 2016 was just yesterday.

The months soon after, saw wedding preparations, house views and the whole works sprawled in front of us. Fast forward to today, 24 February 2017. Nearly 7 months since you proposed and 6 months to go, before we are traditionally married and are able to live under the same roof. It all feels like one huge whirlwind. But, there’s no one I’d rather be in with, than you. It’s finally coming together S. Like you always said.

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