It feels like the days have been rolling non-stop, especially since April. It has been the case of rolling in the deep (pun unintended) since Melbourne in March. April saw renovation works beginning after multiple delays and a bad start. Outings revolved around choosing tiles, sanitary/electrical fittings, furniture and appliances. It was a day at a time before the month concluded with the momentous India trip.

It was a battle of another sort when we landed in +91. There is a reason why people say, “India is a country you either love or hate. There is no in-between.” I felt just that on Day 2 itself in Chennai. I couldn’t wait to be back home. I wished it had been 4 day trip to India, not a 14 day one. I still cannot believe I survived. I don’t know which was worse. 14 days in India or 14 days in Napier Prison. But, India taught me a hard lesson – “let go”.

We tried to slow down life when for the remaining of May and not making decisions for a while. But, carpentry didn’t get fabricated as planned (while we were away) and further delays greeted us when we arrived back home. The subsequent few days or rather nights, ended in the wee of hours of the morning with our carpenter. We tried to hold the rope tight without falling off and thanks to a weekend of birthday celebrations we had some breather.

June came, finally bearing the wedding invites, after a 2-week delay. It was another race. 800 invites over 1.5 months. Alongside with finalising the details and all the vendors for the ROM, quick dates, even if it was for 30-minutes, was something worth looking forward to. It was also the final lap to complete the renovation project before July arrived. We sprinted to the finish line and made it, just in the nick of time.

July begun with some of the toughest days I had to pull through. You end up realising that perception is a very scary word and most times, you have no control of the lens you are viewed with. I kept reminding myself to pick the right battles as the days went by. 8th of July 2017 was a dream that came true after a really long while. It was perfect in my eyes and more than what I could have imagined. Despite and inspite of all, I still stand by the fact that I have the best people standing behind me to hold me up. Hen’s in Jakarta felt like a reward for surviving thus far and for me to regain my steam for part 2. The high was a SINE curve. Good days and bad days kept alternating. Some nights ended with such heavy conversations you are left wondering, “wasn’t July supposed to be the best month of your life?”

August has barely rolled. But, I feel defeated. I’m exhausted from trying to be stronger than I feel. I have no more steam to get the engine going. 16 days and 20 hours to go before 20th August 2017 greets me. Do I need luck/divine intervention/energy? Let’s just say all of the above for starters, shall we?

“I don’t need you to light up my world. Just sit with me in the dark.”

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