You, my, favourite.

 

We could have been the duo that made anything but a 9-5 job our lifestyle.

We could have been the smartest party animals.

We could have continued dancing to music that played in our heads all day long.

We could have continued being the only sane people around in this mad, mad world.

We could have still communicated with inside jokes lined with sarcasm that only we understood.

We could have still exchanged words through our silences.

We could have remained being best of friends and so much more.

Except now, everything has changed.

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Are you there?

2013-08-13 09.11.41

Today you were on my thoughts more than ever.

I remembered that date.

Our first, after many previous firsts.

We fell back in love like a fish thrown back into water.

We did everything we said we were not going to.

You gave me your shoulder to lean against; despite for me being the reason for your broken heart.

This is all I remember of you.

All I remember before you went out of my sight.

My glasses are on and yet, I can’t see you.

Are you there?

———

Photographed at Manly Beach, Sydney.

At the touch of love, everyone becomes a poet.

You made me hungry for words.

You inspired poetry within (me).

You were the reason I picked up my pen and paper again.

You waited patiently for me to join you in bed after I was done making love to words.

You blurred the lines between fiction and reality for me.

You saw beauty in the tales of fiction I spun.

You gave life to the words “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.”

You made turning pages of a novel ecstasy for me.

You were so many things that you planned on being, and many others that you didn’t.

I thank you for walking into my life, and finding your way out.

 

 

Au revoir.

From my sporadic blog posts this past couple of months, I guess, it comes with no surprise that I’m gonna be on hiatus.

I begun Solosingaporean last April with a purpose in my mind and heart full of zest. I enjoyed reviewing my latest food haunts and my recently watched films. I wanted Solosingaporean to encapsulate all my travel sojourns. I sought comfort in sitting behind the keyboard and penning my thoughts about love and life, at large. I started writing my own fiction stories. I sought solace from the tales I spun. I wrote to forget, and to remember.

This year has brought with itself many changes. It’s been 4 months since 2013 begun and I’m still learning how to cope and grow. My thoughts, on most of the days, are heavy and scattered. Words choke my throat and leave me numb, and in tears. My fingers freeze when they hit the keyboard and leave me staring blankly at the screen.

I hope, someday soon I return back to Solosingaporean with a greater fire as well as happier stories to share.

To my 80 wordpress followers and all other readers (in whatever mediums), I thank you for reading my writing and appreciating my works all this while. Your comments and likes to my posts kept spurring me to write without censoring my thoughts.

Today, you can choose to unfollow Solosingaporean or let this blog be one of those stagnant, un-updated sites in your reading list. I’ll take no offence if I’m left with zero followers and/or no new views when tomorrow arrives.

Thank you once again from the bottom of my heart for the over 5,000 views this past year.

Till then, au revoir! I hope to see you soon!

Till tomorrow.

Love is the time you kissed me so hard I felt like we were one. I had to forcefully pull myself away from you to ask you why. And, your answer touched my soul without even your lips on mine.

This love might destroy me. ‘Cause love is possibly the only emotion that gives you power to hurt even from miles away. Even after the end. The end of the end.

Tomorrow when I wake up, I’ll remind myself what you asked of me. Till then, let me be – still in love with you.

 

Timeless conversation.

He and she sat there for hours despite the incessant chatter that surrounded them. They spoke as if the ocean was gonna separate them tomorrow when the sun rose. They had endless things to bare to each other about it felt like time was never enough. But, then again, she always felt like that with him. She yearned for his touch on her naked skin each time they were apart. For his shoulder to lie on just to feel safe and at peace. She needed his listening ear and his whispers “it’s gonna be alright.” He made her heart light. He made her heart sing a tune she wasn’t even aware she was capable of. That was the kind of love she had always dreamt of. He was that and everything more. This was enough for her.

The dedication.

A tear rolled down her cheek when she heard the song dedication in her name by the one her fingers were intertwined with. She felt his love through another’s voice. “To you, my love.” It made the moment feel even more surreal. He continues to surprise her at the randomest of moments. She lost herself in his arms and enjoyed the song despite being hopeless with the lyrics.

This was the dedication.

So I won’t hesitate no more, no more
It cannot wait, I’m sure
There’s no need to complicate, our time is short
This is our fate, I’m yours

The best part is, she wasn’t even a Mraz fan till yesterday.

This is her (late) dedication, to him.

Title-less post.

My words are stuck in my throat. I have so much to tell, yet if I actually type them out it won’t be coherent. They will be a lot of questions with zero answers. Pessimism will run through the entire post despite me trying to hold on to the optimism of life ahead. Of the future you always paint about us. You know me better than I know myself at times. Sometimes, I like to take a backseat and see my world through someone else’s eyes. We are quick to judge and point fingers at someone else instead of looking within. Does the capacity to love also warrant the capacity to hurt? How do you love without hurting yourself and the other in the process?

I chanced upon this quote earlier.

Only by being hurt do we understand the true meaning of love and the experience of pain allows us to be braver and love stronger from within the depths of our heart.

Food for thought till we meet again.

The power of words to heal the soul.

I have over almost a thousand favourite quotes/lines. No, I’m not exaggerating! From the books I read to the blogs I follow to song lyrics that get stuck in my head, anything that tugs a chord in my heart gets shared immediately via twitter (blame the convenience of social media if you think I’m tweeting excessively). Every now and then, especially while I’m commuting, I like to read my tweets to be inspired by those words and find strength to live life. The moment in time that has long passed, but never fails to slip my mind as I re-read my own words.

Despite all, there is a particular quote that I never have to put the effort to remember. It always comes to my mind when I’m stuck or when I’m questioning love and life at large.

“I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love.” – Mother Teresa

This will help us get by.

One way street.

She was in denial that he will someday be the piece that fit in perfectly into her world. She fooled herself into believing all of his words. She forgot that actions speak louder than words. It’s easy to utter words just to please the other. To do something, make a sacrifice, put the other before you, that requires thought to be translated into action. It was best to remain silent this time round. She was in this alone. She should have known better cause it had started off as being too good to be true. Indeed, it was a blessing in disguise. She reminded herself about the things she had planned to do as the year begun. She didn’t need a man to be in the picture to achieve those dreams. She had herself. That was enough.