The Fault In Our Stars by John Green.

The_Fault_in_Our_Stars

“I’m in love with you,” he said quietly.

“Augustus,” I said.

“I am,” he said. He was staring at me, and I could see the corners of his eyes crinkling. “I’m in love with you, and I’m not in the business of denying myself the simple pleasure of saying true things. I’m in love with you, and I know that love is just a shout into the void, and that oblivion is inevitable, and that we’re all doomed and that there will come a day when all our labour has been returned to dust, and I know the sun will swallow the only earth we’ll ever have, and I am in love with you.”

“Augustus,” I said again, not knowing what else to say. It felt like everything was rising up in me, like I was drowning in this weirdly painful joy, but I couldn’t say it back. I couldn’t say anything back. I just looked at him and let him look at me until he nodded, lips pursed, and turned away, placing the side of his head against the window.

——–

I took a few breaths and went back to the page. “I can’t talk about our love story, so I will talk about math. I am not a mathematician, but I know this: There are infinite numbers between 0 and 1. There’s .1 and .12 and .112 and an infinite collection of others. Of course, there is a bigger infinite set of numbers between 0 and 2, or between 0 and a million. Some infinities are bigger than other infinities. A writer we used to like taught us that. There are days, many of them, when I resent the size of my unbounded set. I want more numbers than I’m likely to get, and God, I want more numbers for Augustus Waters than he got. But, Gus, my love, I cannot tell you how thankful I am for our little infinity. I wouldn’t trade it for the world. You gave me a forever within the numbered days, and I’m grateful.”

——–

What else? She is so beautiful. You don’t get tired of looking at her. You never worry if she is smarter than you: You know she is. She is funny without ever being mean. I love her. I am so lucky to love her, Van Houten. You don’t get to choose if you get hurt in this world, old man, but you do have some say in who hurts you. I like my choices. I hope she likes hers. 

Above are my favourite parts from the book. This book easily makes it to my list of all-time favourite books alongside with Looking for Alaska also by John Green and The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky. The fault in our stars made me smile and cry at the same time at almost every instance. I strongly recommend this book to everyone and anyone. Please pick this novel up and lose yourself in John Green’s writing.

Having read this, now it’s time to re-read Looking for Alaska!

Rating: 5/5

The power of words to heal the soul.

I have over almost a thousand favourite quotes/lines. No, I’m not exaggerating! From the books I read to the blogs I follow to song lyrics that get stuck in my head, anything that tugs a chord in my heart gets shared immediately via twitter (blame the convenience of social media if you think I’m tweeting excessively). Every now and then, especially while I’m commuting, I like to read my tweets to be inspired by those words and find strength to live life. The moment in time that has long passed, but never fails to slip my mind as I re-read my own words.

Despite all, there is a particular quote that I never have to put the effort to remember. It always comes to my mind when I’m stuck or when I’m questioning love and life at large.

“I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love.” – Mother Teresa

This will help us get by.

Chronic Dissatisfaction.

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Chronic Dissatisfaction, a term María Elena played by Penelope Cruz diagnoses Cristina to have in  the movie, Vicky Cristina Barcelona, as she is always dissatisfied with what she has, at present. She is always restless and aches for something new to happen in her life. It’s like she’s searching for something she doesn’t know what it even is. To label, let alone describe.

Have you ever found yourself in this position? I constantly do.

Vicky made me wonder about the harsh possibility of wanting/dreaming about something your whole life, that it eventually might end up as something you don’t quite want. In her case, it was a person, a life, a marriage she was about to set foot into. Sometimes, I think that the very reason for this paralysis of indecision to hit us when we need to make a decision is because, we have an abundance of choices before us.

In chapter 2 (Marriage & Expectation) of Committed: A Skeptic Makes Peace With Marriage, Elizabeth Gilbert says,

“When you have only one path set before you, you can generally feel confident that it was the correct path to have taken.”

Yes, I love this author, this book, this freaking chapter if you haven’t already deduced.

It’s the constant predicament we go through and the constant questioning of whether “this is really what we want” that inhibits us from making a decision in the first place.  Simply put, the paralysis of indecision.

“Vicky returned home to have her grand wedding to Doug. To the house they finally planned to settle in. And to lead the life she envisioned for herself, before that summer in Barcelona. Cristina continued searching… certain only, of what she didn’t want.”

I just finished a book by Sarah Dessen, The truth about forever.

“That was thing. You just never knew. Forever was so many different things. It was always changing, it was what everything was really all about. But there was only one truth about forever that really mattered, and that was this: it was happening.”

It reminded me, yet again, of the picturesque future, Utopia that we make up in our minds is all fictional. What we really have, is now. We don’t need labels for every aspect of our lives, we just to need live and let live. The forever, love claims to be about, might not be case. Forever begins from now, this moment. And this moment, is what counts. Not the happily ever after that might or might not be. As Priya Basil says in The Obscure Logic Of  The Heart,

“I don’t see a point of deferring happiness for some future promise of salvation.”

Going back to the film, it did great in capturing both the love and hate in the complex relationship(s) played by all four characters – María, Cristina, Vicky and Juan. Also, if you aren’t already in love with Barcelona, this film will help you lose yourself in the beautiful Gaudi architecture. And lastly, Woody Allen. Every of his film needs a watch. Enuff’ said.

So go catch this! It’s a very light-hearted movie about love, relationships and its complexities.

“Our love will last forever. It’s forever but it just doesn’t work. That’s why it will always be romantic because it cannot be complete.”